Musings

I miss blogging. 

It's hard and awkward when we don't have Internet at our apartment. 

And a lot of the time I don't really know what to say. 

I get caught up in worrying about what people are thinking. 

Not just about my blog but about me in general. 

I thought that getting married would be a cure for self consciousness because I would have a husband to always tell me how awesome I am. 

Now I'm married to a wonderful man who is always quick to compliment and slow to criticize and who always tells me how beautiful I am, but it can still be hard to see my own self worth. 

After a rough night of swimsuit shopping last night I realized that any ounce of self confidence and assurance I am going to have has to come from me or else it isn't real. I have to love myself, truly and I can't rely on a husbands love for me to get me through the moments when I feel unattractive, extra chubby or awkward. 

I'm lucky and blessed in so many ways. Now it's time to love myself unconditionally, the way my husband does and the way my Savior does.