beginning of the end

I'm the type of person that requires rituals when I change phases of life.
I need to recognize the "lasts" and the "firsts" and I love to do so.
Sunday I had my last ever back-to-school blessing (unless I end up doing grad school which is not in the plan right now). It's true that I'll always ask Kevin for a husbands blessing when he does back-to-school blessings for our kids, but this was the last one for me as a student.
Yesterday was my last first day of classes.
I chose out my last ever first day of school outfit.
I took my last back-to-school picture.
This will be the last semester of carrying an ugly backpack around for most of my time.
It will be the last semester of changing into my gym clothes in the bathroom in between classes so I can work out.
There will come a time when I write my last papers, and take my last finals.
Oh so many lasts are approaching.
No matter how excited I am to finish something, I always feel a little sad about all the "lasts."
I was SO excited to transfer to BYU and leave BYU-Idaho, but I still cried when I said goodbye.
Even though I really did not love my job making traffic sensors, there was still a sense of loss when I turned in my badge and left for the last time.
I feel the same way now, and I know this feeling will be magnified in four months when graduation day is here.
But I've learned that when something ends, something new immediately begins, and those beginnings are so exciting.
While there are so many lasts in my near future, there are also so many firsts.
First day at a new job,
First time in my life when school isn't the focus,
And so many more.
I'm so excited about the firsts.
And I'm excited about the lasts too.